Why you never pick up hitchhikers
by Makoto Kudou
Summary: Two girls driving along a lonely road at night decide to help out someone stranded on the road. But he's not as helpless as he looks... (I'M STILL ALIVE!)


WHY YOU NEVER PICK UP HITCHHIKERS  
  
WARNING: God-hurting, knife-licking, bible-threatening- oh and Farf's in it too.  
  
NOTE: this fic is based off a skit I did today in drama class. Basically it's a game called hitchhiker where two people are in a "car" and they pick up another person. The person has a vocal/physical habit, and as they progress the other people in the car pick up on it. I chose Farfy, of course :3 if only people got it. ;_; but I understood! XD oh- and yes I did lose midsummer night's scheme and apart for a while, but MsNS is on Jes*schu's website. Apart for a while. is gone. I'm sorry. Umm. I do have more fic ideas in the works, but I've been really busy with work and swim and school so.. Yes I actually had a knife- okay a plastic toy sword.  
  
Pairings: umm. none. Gomen.  
  
Disclaimer: The Farfmeister © Koyasu Takehito, the driver and passenger © me. Koyasu needs to understand that suing fanfic authors is not a good way to make money, but prostituting his body to them is :D  
  
The girls giggled in the front of the car as they went along, listening to their favorite Christian band on the radio and singing along at the top of their lungs. They turned it down when the song ended, still laughing to themselves. The passenger tossed back her mane of brown hair, smiling widely. She turned and looked out the window, her smile fading. Up ahead through the dark night there was a pale scarred hand brandishing a knife. the hand dropped and reappeared, knifeless, thumb extended. She thought to herself she had imagined it, tugging on her friend's shirt sleeve. "Hey, there's a hitchhiker." The driver peered ahead and nodded. "Lets pick them up." The car paused in front of a tall young gentleman, wearing a dark blue vest over red bondage pants, and twin yellow eyes gazed at them from a scarred face. White hair was cropped short and messily spiked atop his head. The driver rolled down her window. "You need a ride?" He considered her for a moment, and dipped his head. "Yes." The passenger smiled and said, "Well climb in." And he did, buckling himself up well. The driver pulled away, heading back down the road. Farfarello gave his knife a solitary lick. "So where are you headed?" They'd turned off the radio station, the new passenger's voice quiet and heavily accented. "Anywhere." They nodded, taking it into consideration. He licked his knife again. "We're just going driving around, a fun thing to do on a Saturday night." Farfarello tilted his head again, finding it odd that fun was found without involving knives or death. "So. umm. where are you from?" Farfarello mentally noted that the passenger talked too much. She would die later. "Rosenkreuz," came the simple reply. The driver and passenger looked at each other oddly. "Frozen crates?" "No, Rosenkreuz. It's German." Farfarello couldn't help but smile a secretive smile, licking his knife again. "What are you eating?" the passenger asked, turning to look at him. Farfarello quickly hid the knife. "N-nothing." There was more silence in the car. "So where do you go to school at?" Farfarello produced the knife again, licking it quietly. "I don't go to school. there was. conflict."* The girls shifted uncomfortably. "Okay. were you ever in boy scouts or anything?" Farfarello looked darkly at his knife. "They don't want one-eyed boy scouts. They said it was creepy." The passenger turned and looked at him. "But you have two eyes." "One is glass."$ "O-oh.." Finally the passenger took a closer look. "You're licking a knife?!" "Are you the devil?!" cried the driver. Farfarello grinned coldly. "Neither death nor devil."@ "Wh. why are you licking the knife?" Farfarello looked up, now stoically calm. "It hurts God." The two devout Christians stared at each other. "Why would you want to hurt Him? Did you ever go to church?" As soon as the word passed her lips Farfarello let out a maniacal hiss. There was more silence. "I. I guess that means no." She began rifling through the glove box, and handed Farfarello a book. "Here, maybe you need a bible." Farfarello looked it over, opened it, and read the first few pages. He chuckled. "That God. what a comedian." He instantly shoved his knife through the book.& The driver jumped, startled, and weaved partially on the road. There was more silence. The passenger turned around and held out her hand. "Can I see your knife?" Farfarello kept it close to his chest, as if it were a precious jewel, his eyes going wide. "I promise you can stab her." The driver's jaw dropped in shock. Farfarello eyed the girl curiously. "Will it hurt God?" There was a few moments of silence. "Yes, yes, it will hurt God." Farfarello immediately gave her the knife, and she took a few licks, before handing it back. "Is- is that blood?!" she cried suddenly, looking at his clothes and arms. "Did you kill someone?!" Farfarello tilted his head. "Only because it hurt God." There was more silence, Farf openly licking his knife. "Can I have the knife?" Again he eyed the girl- this time the driver- suspiciously. "It will hurt God." He smiled evilly and handed over the knife, the girls interchanging it to lick its edges. And they continued down the road together, licking their knife and hurting God.  
  
Meanwhile, in other places. Crawford lowered his paper and looked around. The household was a little too quiet. Schuldich was draped over the couch, watching TV, Nagi was doing his homework, and Farfarello was. Farfarello was... "Has anyone seen Farfarello?"  
  
*now that I think about it that wasn't the smartest thing to say while licking a "knife", especially with columbine and all. $ I had to do that. The question was actually about girl scouts and my reply was "they thought eye patches were creepy and one-eyed girl scouts would do bad business with cookies." @ yeah, yeah that's Ran's quote. Shut up. & Now that I think about it that would have been more Farf-like to do but instead I just freaked out and hissed at the bible. Boy does my drama class think I'm weird now. 


End file.
